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Commit Hard Like The Macho Man

March 12, 2013
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Commit Hard Like The Macho Man

Last night my friend Brian showed me this clip. Now we spent several minutes laughing about how ridiculous the Macho Man is here. All he does is walk back and forth repeating, “I’m not talking!” I didn’t think much of it again until today when my friend Brianna emailed out some pictures of the...

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Russian Foreign Minister: It Is Up To The Syrian People To Pretend To Bring Democracy To Syria

March 8, 2013
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Russian Foreign Minister: It Is Up To The Syrian People To Pretend To Bring Democracy To Syria

MOSCOW- Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov stated that it is not for Russia to pretend to bring democracy to the people of Syria, but that it is up to the Syrian people to pretend to bring democracy to Syria. Speaking today with BBC’s Moscow...

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UCB and Punk Rock: Making Our Partners Look Good

February 22, 2013
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UCB and Punk Rock: Making Our Partners Look Good

 I’ve been around a long time. I started playing in my first band in 1994, and that was after I’d already graduated from high school. Growing up, I listened to bands like Metallica, Anthrax, Megadeth and always had dreams of being on stage and...

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Arne Duncan Blames Nation’s Phys Ed Teachers for Student Obesity, Hygiene, and General Unattractiveness

February 21, 2013
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Arne Duncan Blames Nation’s Phys Ed Teachers for Student Obesity, Hygiene, and General Unattractiveness

WASHINGTON – Continuing his attempt to overhaul the American educational system, Secretary of Education Arne Duncan blamed Physical Education teachers for the obesity, poor hygiene, and general unattractiveness of...

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Houston Astros Cut Entire Fan Base Two Weeks Into Spring Training

February 20, 2013
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Houston Astros Cut Entire Fan Base Two Weeks Into Spring Training

KISSIMMEE, FL – At a late afternoon press conference, Houston Astros General Manager Jeff Luhnow announced that the team would be cutting the entire Astros fan base, ushering in...

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A Clean, Well-Blended Frappuccino

July 27, 2012
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It was early evening and the Starbucks was empty except for Marta, a young woman who sat in the rear of the store with her laptop  computer. Old jazz...

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Hank Steinbrenner Trades New York Yankees To Carny for More Chances at Ring Toss

June 29, 2012
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Hank Steinbrenner Trades New York Yankees To Carny for More Chances at Ring Toss

New York – Late this afternoon, Hank Steinbrenner, Senior Vice President of the New York Yankees and son of George Steinbrenner, traded ownership of the Yankees to a carny...

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ACLU Forces S.H.I.E.L.D. to Hire Less Attractive Agents

June 19, 2012
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ACLU Forces S.H.I.E.L.D. to Hire Less Attractive Agents

  WASHINGTON- In another victory for the ACLU, Nick Fury and S.H.I.E.L.D. are being forced to end their discriminatory hiring practices and immediately begin interviewing candidates who are markedly...

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Man Teaches Golf To Kids Who Will Never Be Able To Afford It

June 18, 2012
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Man Teaches Golf To Kids Who Will Never Be Able To Afford It

  ATLANTA- Community volunteer Kevin Haberstand, resident of the nearby suburb of Oakhurst, has recently begun teaching inner city kids from Atlanta the basics of golf, a game which...

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Belichick Admits Giving Chad Ochocinco Fake Playbook

June 17, 2012
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Belichick Admits Giving Chad Ochocinco Fake Playbook

FOXBOROUGH – Taking a few minutes to answer questions during Patriots mini-camp on Thursday, Bill Belichick revealed that he and former offensive coordinator Bill O’Brien had given ex-Patriots wide...

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