TIMFS – Gravediggaz -“Diary of a Madman” -AKA The Year Metalheads Started Paying Attention to Rap

Today, “Diary of a Madman” by Gravediggaz is my favorite song. When I went off to college in the fall of 1993, I was a metalhead. I mostly listened to metal in its numerous forms. There were some deviations such as Cypress Hill, Black Sheep, Dr. Dre, NWA, Beastie Boys, but rap wasn’t my main

28 Jul 2016

TIMFS: Hatebreed -“Mark My Words”

Today, Hatebreed’s “Mark My Words” is my favorite song. And I’ll begin with this. Jamey Shanahan is a genius. You can argue that, but you’re wrong and I’ll explain why. Jamey Shanahan is the singer, writer, promoter, and pretty much everything of Hatebreed. Before he was in Hatebreed, Jamey sang for the band Jasta 14,

02 Jul 2015

Fallout Shelter: 10 Tips for a Happy Vault

Fallout Shelter is a new iOS game from Bethesda, makers of Fallout 3 and Skyrim, just to name a few. For those of you who have been playing it in an attempt to scratch that post-apocalyptic itch until Fallout 4 comes out, here are some tips for becoming the most popular Overseer in the wasteland!

23 Jun 2015

TIMFS: Detestation – “A Is For…”

Detestation was a crust band from Portland that formed in 1994. Aside from being a generally awesome band, they were known for their amazing female singer Saira, who crushes. I’ve listened to “A Is For…” more times than I’ve heard the word “gluten” since I’ve moved to Los Angeles. And for many reasons. The first

11 Jun 2015

Sarah Koenig: “Wait, None of These Murderers Seem Like Murderers”

SAN QUENTIN – Over the weekend, while meeting with Jose Montanez, an inmate at San Quentin State Prison who is serving life for a double homicide, Sarah Koenig asked permission from warden Kevin Chappell to speak with other inmates. Her conclusion: “None of these murderers seem like murderers.” “I spent the better part of a

15 Dec 2014

Pentagon Releases Updated Terror Level Chart

WASHINGTON – With a state of terror becoming the norm, the Pentagon restructured the Terror Alert Level Chart by doing away with the bottom four levels and expanding the topmost, red level into a new, more accurate chart.

25 Sep 2014

Sheriff Joe Arpaio Announces Plan To Cook Up “Plumpest” Inmates

Following Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s announcement that he would provide prisoners, who are already fed twice a day, a 56-cent thanksgiving meal, the Sheriff’s office announced a plan to cook up the “plumpest” inmates once per month as a special meal. The meal will be the healthiest, yet most ¬†affordable his prisons will have served up

27 Nov 2013

Man Throws Welcome Home Party for His Depression

BROOKINGS, SD – Jason Smithfield, a 31 year old accountant, held a welcome home party for his depression at his home in Brookings, South Dakota. The party was enthusiastically not attended by his friends Ron and Jacob, his ex-girlfriend Allison, and several co-workers, who chose to work late on the Billington Account. Mr. Smithfield’s depression

26 Aug 2013

Beautiful Comic Tries to Convince Audience No One Wants to Date her

HOLLYWOOD – Beautiful Comic Ellen Darby spent the better part of her fifteen minute set at Marty’s this past Tuesday trying to convince the audience that she can’t find a date. Darby, who has been a comic for three years, is quite often seen performing and explaining to audiences that as hard as she tires,

22 Aug 2013

Obama Escalates Storage Wars With 20,000 Troop Surge

WASHINGTON – Monday morning, President Obama announced a plan to send an additional 20,000 troops to Southern California in an effort to de-escalate the four year old Storage War. The president said the surge of troops, which would bring the total troop count to 110,000, would begin over the next month, and that most of

19 Aug 2013
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